The Chasm Within
by Fourtris Eaton
Summary: An Au Modern Day version of Divergent. Okay. I was just in the mood for a modern type version of Divergent. I don't know where I'm going with this story. I'm just...writing for the sake of writing. This is a test chapter. Let me know if I should keep going! Thanks for all of your support. Check back for new chapters each week!
1. Chapter 1

In my city, when a child turns sixteen years old, the parents are no longer responsible for their child's wellbeing. It's up to the child to start taking care of themselves. And because of that, we're sent to a school of sorts. It's like college, but without all of that real school nonsense. My brother Caleb, he left the house a few months ago so it has just been me and my parents. They've been antsy around the house given the fact that I'm going to be leaving them soon as well. I just turned sixteen a few days ago and the train I have to take doesn't leave the city until tomorrow morning. They're good people, my parents. Nice and selfless, and obviously I love them, but I'm just glad to be getting away. I never really felt like I got along with my family. They're far more selfless that I could ever be. I miss my brother, and I'm looking forward to seeing him again, but I've heard rumors and stories from people who have come back from the school that it changes people. You might know who they are before they leave, but once you arrive at the school, everything about you changes.

There's always an opportunity to stay at the school, for future students to teach them and train them. None of my friends have stayed. They've all come back to the city to find jobs and spouses. The idea of marriage at this point…it's weird to me. It's kind of embarrassing, but I've never even been kissed. Sixteen and barely even spoken to a boy. It's not that I don't like them, I do. A lot. It's just that my family, and the area of town that we live in, we're not really associated with much. People classify us as weird and dull and stiff. Classifications that I no longer want to fall under. You can't choose your parents. But you can change who you are after you leave them. At sixteen, their rules no longer apply. Freedom…freedom is what I've been yearning for. The ability to run free and not let who I was raised as affect who I want to be. That's part of the reason I can't wait to leave. I hate the classification, because it's not really who I am. I don't know who I am actually. But I can't wait to find out.

I wake early the next morning with the smell of maple syrup filling the house. I am surprised because my family almost never uses anything with that much flavor. The last time we had syrup in the house was when Caleb left the house. I pull myself out of bed to get dressed and I take my time because I know that when I see the look on my parents' faces, I'll more than likely cry. I wish becoming my own person didn't mean saying goodbye to my parents, but that's just how this society works. And it's worked for hundreds of years, so there's never any reason to do things differently. Once I'm dressed, I grab my duffel bag and carry it downstairs with me. I set it on the floor next to the front door before heading into the kitchen.

"Good morning, Beatrice," my mother says to me as I sit down at the table. "How did you sleep?"

"I slept well," I answer with a smile. "Thank you for making breakfast. It smells amazing."

"Thank you," my mother replies as she sits across from me, next to my father who is looking at me.

"Are you ready?" he asks me.

I shrug my shoulders. "Is it even possible to be ready for something like this?" I ask.

He smiles. "I meant, are you ready to become your own person?"

Own person. It's like he's been reading my mind. My father and I haven't spoken as much as I have with my mother. In our family, it is best to listen to your parents instead of speaking. I have never been an outspoken teenager, but being raised by people who rarely, if never, let you speak your mind; it makes you want certain things. And although I'm quiet, I want to be heard. I have listened to my father speak over the last few years about his job with the government about how certain things should be handled and how certain people should be dealt with. All those years of listening, they wear on you, but you do learn. I know I did.

I take a bite of the pancakes in front of me to keep myself from answering right away. I don't want them to think that I've been considering this for a long time. Even though that is the truth. I don't want to feel like I'm letting them down because it's not easy for me to let myself go. I care about what other people think of me. I care about what I think of myself. And my parents…they rarely think of themselves. Which is why leaving is going to be hard. Because I know that when I'm gone they'll have no one else to look after except themselves. After being parents for so long, what do you do when your child leaves?

"I'm looking forward to the new experience," I answer diplomatically.

He smiles. I am my father's daughter. "It will be good for you," he says. "To learn new things."

I nod and we continue to eat in silence. The hands on the clock pass slowly and I know that it's because I can't wait to leave. I feel guilty for leaving my family. But in cases like this, I don't have a choice. And I'm glad for that. I keep those thoughts to myself because even if neither of us have a choice in the matter, I don't want them to know that I'm looking forward to it.

After breakfast we leave the house and the closer we get to the train station, the more my stomach tenses. I don't feel sick, it's just nerves and I hope that my first impression with my potential new friends isn't of me throwing up. We park outside of the train station and I grab my duffel, which conveniently has a change of clothes that I was able to buy with the last few months of my allowance. Actually I had been able to get a few different outfits, which will help in the changing of the stereotype that I have lived under the last sixteen years. I hug my mother and father goodbye because this is the last time I will be seeing them…as their daughter. Once we finish out goodbyes, they get back into the car. I watch them as they leave and when I can no longer see the license plate on their car, the sensation in my gut leaves me. I walk into the train station which is busy as ever with families saying goodbye to their children. We had discussed that our family is not one for epic goodbyes. We say goodbye and that is it. There is no reason to drag it out.

I find the first bathroom available and rush inside tossing my duffel onto the sink and start digging through it to find the black tank top and jeans to replace the grey clothes on my back. Grey is nice…it's simple; it just was never my favorite color. As I am pulling my jeans on, the door opens and a girl walks in raising her eyebrows in approval. "You wanted to change too?" she asks lifting her bag.

I nod. "New life, new clothes," I say with a smile.

She grins. "I'm Christina."

"Beatrice," I answer.

I pull on my tank top and wait for her to dress before we leave the bathroom together.

"What do you think it'll be like?" she asks me.

I shrug. "I have no idea."

She grins at me. "Anything will be exiting after leaving our parent's protection. I'm excited to live."

I nod. "Living sounds nice."

"Hell yeah it does!"

I laugh with her and we talk until the train comes and then all of us, I am able to count fifty of us, but am unable to count any higher as we all start piling onto the train. There are dozens of people packed into the car I am in and I am lucky that I'm small enough to squeeze in so that I can put mine and Christina's bags on the overhead rack. I sit down next to her and a boy named Will as the monitors on the side of the car turn on. There is picture of a building, a magnificent building that looks almost like a castle, and then a woman's voice comes through.

"Welcome! Today is the start of your new lives as independents of the city. You should now be leaving the train station. As the train picks up speed, please notice the picture on the monitors in front of you," the voice says. "This is the Hub. This is where all of your classes and training will start. When you arrive you will split into your dorms and you will meet the people who will become your family for the next few years."

I look at Christina and she grins at me grabbing my hand and squeezing it. This is what I've wanted for a while now. To have a friend who gets me…without all of the bullshit that was the neighborhood I grew up in. I don't know what will happen when we get to the Hub. I don't know if we will even stay friends once we get there. But this is the first time I have made a friend because of who I am. Not on what clothes I wear.

"We welcome you to the Hub," the voice says. "We trust you to make the right choice."

We arrive at the Hub a few hours later and Christina and I are one of the last ones off of the train. She grabs my bag and hands it to me and I sling it over my shoulder before we step onto the train platform which lets off right in front of the main building. I was wrong. It wasn't a castle. It is a collection of buildings that are built out of stone. There are five buildings behind the main building, which we are being ushered into. It's all starting to feel a bit like Harry Potter and I wonder if we're going to be led into the great hall to eat some magical food.

"I wonder where Dumbledore is," Christina whispers to me as we walk up the steps.

I laugh. "I was just thinking the same thing," I say with a grin.

"I knew I liked you!"

We enter the main building and the hush falls over the crowd as there's a relay from the microphone on the stage. We turn toward the noise and a blonde woman comes out and offers of a smile…but even from here I can tell that the smile doesn't go all the way up to her eyes. She looks intimidating.

"Welcome to the Hub." Her voice is the same voice that we heard on the train ride up. So she must be one of the leaders here. "Today is the first day of the rest of your lives." Wow. She looks smart, but she just quoted one of the most cliché things I have ever heard. I cough to cover up my laugh and then I bring my lips together to keep myself from obviously smiling. Christina looks at me and I see the grin on her face. Yeah, we're definitely friends. "We're going to be lining up and you'll find out your dorm assignments when you reach the table. After that it's up to your trainers and your leaders to dictate how you spend the first few months of life here."

The nerves in my stomach are back again. But this time it's become I'm really excited to get started. I wonder what dorm my brother got sorted into. I'm looking forward to seeing him again. The woman leaves the stage and the cacophony of the room starts up again. We start moving toward the front of the line and the closer with get the quieter the room gets. People file out asking questions about "which dorm is this" and so on and so forth. No one knows what to expect when they get here. Being sorted into a dorm is like finding out who you really are…who you are meant to be and who you are meant to become. Then it's me in line and I step up.

"Name, please?" the man asks me in a dull voice.

"Beatrice Prior," I say. The second it leaves my lips it gets me thinking that new me…new name. "Tris, actually."

"Prior…" he says looking down at the papers in front of him. "You're in Dauntless."

He hands me a strip of paper and I take it. "Thanks."

"Next!"

I step aside waiting for Christina and I smile when I hear the man say that she's in Dauntless too. When she joins me, we hug.

"I'm glad we're not being separated," I tell her. "It's good to have a friend."

She grins. "Yes, it is."

We leave the main building and follow the stream of people heading to the Dauntless building. As we walk closer to it, the bigger it gets. "Shit," I say. "That's pretty intimidating."

"Hey!"

We turn to see Will coming toward us with another boy who I don't recognize. Granted, I don't recognize a lot of people from my own life. I didn't exactly have many friends.

"Hey!" Christina exclaims. "Where are you guys going?"

"Dauntless," Will says. "This is Al, he's Dauntless too."

"Hey," I say to Al. "I'm Tris and this is Christina."

Christina lifts her hand in a half wave to match the half smirk on her lips.

"You guys ready?" Will nods toward the front of the building where there's two men standing outside of the building. One of them has piercings all over his face and the other one looks…well normal compared to him.

"Listen up!" the one with the piercings shouts. "I'm Eric. I'm one of your leaders here at Dauntless. This is Four," he gestures to the other guy. There's something about the look on his face that is sexy and scary at the same time. He looks deadly serious. "The first rule you need to know about Dauntless is that we don't take cowardice lightly. In Dauntless you need to be brave."

Eric doesn't stay long. He walks back into the building almost like he's completely fed up with things. I don't mind actually. I'm glad to see him go; something tells me he's going to be one of the bad parts of this whole thing.

Four stares at us. There are about twenty-five of us who are waiting for him to speak. He lifts a brow. "Now that he's got that introduction out of the way," he says. "Welcome to Dauntless.

**A/N:**Okay. I was just in the mood for a modern type version of Divergent. I don't know where I'm going with this story. I'm just...writing for the sake of writing. This is a test chapter. Let me know if I should keep going! Thanks for all of your support.


	2. Chapter 2

The only thing that I can really say so far...is that it's strange to be here. Strange in a good way, but strange. I had been in the city with my parents for sixteen years of my life. Having them tell me what to do, what to eat, how to think and what to say. My life was different the moment their car drove away from the train station. This was my life now. And even though I'm extremely nervous it's an excited nervous. Because this is the first time in my life that I get to make my own decisions. I don't know who I am yet. I'm about to become the person that I'm meant to be. The duffel on my back is starting to weigh on me, but by the looks of the people running around the Dauntless building, I'm going to have to start working on my strength. I don't mind that. I may not know who I am, but I know that I don't want to be classified as weak. I want to be able to take care of myself. All of us are following Four through the building leading us to the dorms. If I thought the building was huge from the outside, the inside is just as impressive. The ceilings are call and the rooms are long. There's a giant staircase that leads up into what Four described as member rooms. So that's where I'll be living in just a few months. I don't mind it, this place is far nicer than my parents' home.

As we exit the main hall, we turn a corner and begin to go a flight of stairs. There's a basement to this place? It didn't even look like it had one. I wonder if the other dorms know about it. What shocks me the most is that we don't stop after just one flight like I had originally assumed. We go down several flights of stairs and we don't stop until we are well underground. We are so far beneath the service of the earth that I start to regret wearing a tank top. The cold hits me like a pile of bricks and I wish I had put on a jacket or a sweater or something. I rub my arms, which goose bumps have now arisen. We follow Four down the hallway and enter a wide room that has several beds lined up against both walls. It dawns on me that there will not be separate sleeping quarters for the boys. Was part of this whole being brave thing trying to make sure that the boys kept their hands to themselves while sleeping in a cold and dank basement?

"This is where you'll be sleeping for the next few months," Four says turning around to face us. "Bathrooms are in the back."

"Girls or boys?"

"Both."

"Nice," a boy in the back of the group mutters. I can hear the grin on his face and I roll my eyes.

"The heaters don't reach down here, because we're so far underground so you might want to stock up on extra blankets," Four says. "I'll let you get settled in and then we'll reconvene upstairs for lunch."

His eyes find mine before nodding and I fight the urge to look away. His eyes are so blue, they're distracting. And then as soon as he looked, he's walking past us, heading back up the steps into the heart of the building. I shake my head and follow Christina over to a bed by the wall. I place my duffel on the bed and open it to pull out one of my sweaters before pulling it over my head. I put the duffel under the bed and sit down to look at Christina.

"So this is it," I say with a smile.

She's packing her things beneath the bed and pulls a jacket on before. "It's weird, right?" she asks. "We just got here, but I already feel like I belong here...more so than I felt back in the city."

I know what she means because that's the same way that I feel right now. I feel like I'm home. Christina bounces up and down on the balls of her feet a few times before grinning at me. "Come on, let's go eat!"

I get off of my bed and the four of us, Al, Christina, Will and myself, go up the stairs with the rest of the new Dauntless members and head to the cafeteria. Once we pass the doors, I am surprised at how many people I see here. There are a lot of people here...too many to count. But being around this many people gets me excited. We spread out to find empty seats and I see spots near Four, so I walk toward him. I sit down next to him and Christina follows suit. I don't know what is it, but I'm drawn to him. Maybe it's because he seems so strong. And strength is a quality that I want to have. I want to be strong. I see hamburgers on the table and I immediately take a fork to grab one of the patties and put in on my plate. I grab the ketchup and put some on the bun before taking a bite. I had to bite my lip to keep myself from groaning. I had had hamburgers before, just not in a very long time.

I set it down and take a sip of water. Christina and Will are talking about possible having seen each other before in the city. She's friendly enough, she probably interacted with other people. I feel eyes on me, so I turn, and see Four looking at me.

"What?" I ask him. My voice comes out a little harsher than I had wanted it to. Especially since he's going to be one of my trainers here. I don't want to piss him off.

He raises his eyebrows at me, but I can see a hint of a smile on his lips. "Nothing," he says, turning back to look at his place, taking another bite. I feel the heat rise in my cheeks, so I turn away and take another drink of water.

Christina looks at me. "What was that about?"

I shrug and shake my head. "I have no idea," I tell her as I take another bite.

"So you guys think we'll have fun here?" Al asks.

Four laughs and we all look at him.

"Do you have something to say?" I ask him. I had never been outspoken, but now things were different. I was already becoming a different person.

"This dorm isn't about fun," he says, his eyes cold as they land on Al. "It's about strength and bravery."

I look at him and nod, because from the way that Eric introduced himself and the dorm, I didn't think there would be a lot of time to mess around. Not with how serious he looked. "So no fun at all?" I ask.

His dark blue eyes fall on my face and he's smirking again. "I didn't say that," he says. "There will be days when you have fun and days when you don't. It's up to you on how you see them." Someone calls Four's name and he gets up from the table and leaves the room.

I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding in. Christina laughs and touches my arm.

"Wow, so he's intense," she grins shaking her head.

"Yeah," Will says. "Something tells me we should watch out for Eric and Four."

"They _are_ going to be the ones training us," I say. "Given what Four just said, I don't think we should take any of this lightly."

"He couldn't keep his eyes off of you, you know," Christina says nudging me.

"Shut up," I say blushing as I take another drink. "That's not even possible."

I knew that I wasn't pretty like the other girls. I wasn't ugly, but I'm certainly not one of those girls who grabs someone's attention. I don't have a reason for Four to have been looking at me.

"What do you mean, not possible?" she asks.

I shake my head. "Never mind," I answer. It wouldn't make sense to anyone who didn't grow up where I grew up. It was hard to explain and it sounded crazy, just the thoughts running through my head.

After dinner, Four shows us around the building a bit longer, showing us where the clothes supply is as well as sheets and comforters for sleeping. I make sure to grab two wool blankets. I always had an issue with staying warm. My blood always tended to run cold in my veins. I keep the words that Christina told me earlier, during dinner. While we're walking through the building, I keep a distance from Four. Even if he was looking, I didn't want to give off the impression that I was just like any other girl.

Before heading back upstairs, Four passes by our beds and stops to look at us. "I'll be down early in the morning to wake everyone. Get enough sleep. The first day of training is always the hardest."

He nods at us before heading back up the steps. I feel Christina looking at me again and I blush, sitting down on the bed. I wrap myself up in one of the comforters. Even with my thick socks and the sweater I've had on all day, I still need the extra coverage.

"Don't even start, Chris," I tell her, shaking my head.

"What?" she asks. "Like you don't like his attention."

I don't mind it. It just makes me uncomfortable. Probably because I don't know him at all yet, and I'm not quite sure what he wants. Or maybe he's just being friendly. I don't know. But all I know is that today is just the first day. And as confused as I am right now, everything else will be a little less confusing as the weeks ware on. At least, that's what I'm hoping for.


	3. Chapter 3

We're woken up early the next morning after less than six hours of sleep. It wasn't that I wasn't tired, I just couldn't shut down my brain long enough to sleep. Once I had finally drifted off to sleep, I felt like I was being woken up only a few seconds later. I jump up in bed as the lights flash on a voice echoes through the long room.

"Everybody up!"

It's Four's voice. And the sound of it causes heat to spread through my body. I would be lying if I didn't say that I had been thinking him about while I lay awake on my bed last night. I wasn't prepared to be bombarded with feelings like this. I hadn't expected this. All I had wanted to do was come out here and start my new life. Things were changing…and fast. I didn't mind; compared to my old life this was all a sense of adventure. Everything was new and I was looking forward to experiencing everything. I sit up in bed and I reach under my bed for my duffel and pull out some clothes.

"Meet upstairs in ten minutes," Four says. "We start your training today."

He leaves the room and I wonder if he noticed the color on my cheeks. Hopefully I am too far back in the room that he can't get a good look at me. Especially not so early in the morning. Christina glances up at me and groans. I wonder how much sleep she had gotten, I heard her whispering to Will all night. I'm pretty sure we all did. I know I don't look good at a time like this. I quickly change into a red tank top and black training pants. I pull on my sneakers before heading into the bathroom to brush my teeth. Christina follows me and yawns as she turns on the water.

"God, I need a coffee," she says.

"Never had it," I tell her. Obviously I know what coffee is, I didn't live under a rock or anything, but given the way that I was raised, I was never able to have it. I spit out the toothpaste into the sink and feel Christina's eyes on me. "What?" I ask wiping my mouth.

"You've _never_ had coffee?" she asks.

"I had kind of a quiet lifestyle before this," I admit with a shrug.

"Ah," she says nodding. "You were from _that_ part of town."

"Oh come on now," I say. "It wasn't _that _bad."

She shakes her head and smiles at me. "Well lucky for you, who we were no longer affects us."

"That's what I'd been hoping for."

We finish up in the bathroom and we run upstairs to where Four is waiting for us. He's leaning against the wall with his arms folding across his chest. He looks tired…bored even. When the last of us come up the steps, granted it's me and Al, Four pushes himself off of the wall and looks at us.

"Now that we're all here," he says. "Follow me, I'm going to be taking you down to the Pit."

"Weren't we just in the Pit?" Christina asks me teasingly.

I stifle a laugh as we follow Four through the halls. "Today I'm going to be teaching you how to fight," he says. "Being a part of Dauntless is making sure that you know who to take care of yourself if you ever get in danger. Some of the jobs available to those who go back for to the city after schooling is either protection, guarding, or military. There are also jobs for intelligence, or as you know sticking around the training to other kids who come out here."

Kids. So that's what he sees us as. Maybe he _wasn't_ looking at me like that. Maybe Christina was wrong. He had to have been looking at me for another reason. Did I look pathetic or something? Weak? Was he looking to trying to figure out how long it'd take me before failing out?

In our city, with our school system being the way that it is, if you don't pass your classes or you fail the final exams, or if your instructors decide that they don't want to waste any additional time on you, you are kicked out. And upon coming back to the city, you must take all the jobs that no one else wants. Transportation, cleaning the city, construction. And it's all for almost no pay, because the city believes that if you didn't have it in you to finish mandatory schooling, you don't deserve to get paid what the rest of the graduates are getting paid. It makes sense, I guess, but the people who have nowhere to belong…they're living in squalor while the rest of us sit in air conditioned homes and have a home-cooked meal every night. It used to scare me that I would end up like that. That I would end up that way because I didn't know who I was outside of my family. I had followed the rules of my parents for so long that part of me figured that I would never find out who I was. That was another partial reason I barely got any sleep last night. I had been worried that I wouldn't fit in…that I wouldn't find out who I am.

At the first mention of the Pit, I had laughed. Because it sounded strange. After spending the night in the basement, that had felt like the Pit. But upon passing the threshold into the giant room, I understood why it held that name. The Pit was a wide room….no room didn't begin to cover the description of the place. It was enormous with stone walls that ran up the entire height of the building. People were rock climbing up, with no bungees or cords. I looked around the room and up on the wall there were separate rooms for certain things. Four explained that they were for supplies, clothes and anything else that would be needed during training. There was also a tattoo parlor that most of the Dauntless visited on a daily basis. I make a mental note to see if Christina wants to go later. Down on the ground of the Pit were several members of Dauntless fight each other. Training. I understand it now. We're going to be fighting. If we're meant to be guards and military, then we must learn how to defend ourselves. As one of the members is whacked in the face, falling to the floor spreading blood everywhere, it's become increasingly clear to me that I'm not sure if I will make it. I am small, smaller than every new member. Pitted against any of them, I would fall to the floor easily. Which means that I have to train hard…every minute of every day. Every day that I have free time. I swallow as I follow Four down onto the floor of the Pit.

"This is where we'll be doing the training. The first thing we're going to be learning is how to fight. I'll be teaching you basic things at first and then we'll be pairing you off so you can utilize those new skills," Four says. "Before all that though, I want you all to know that training takes place between eight and six every day. What you do before eight and what you do after six, that's strictly your business. But you're not to leave the dorm unless you are with another member."

So with that rule in place, I wouldn't be able to find my brother. Not on my own. And not like this. Did that mean I was just never going to see him again? I didn't want to ruin my chances here by asking a question like that, so I keep my mouth shut. I swallow and nod. I pull my hair back into a ponytail waiting for further instructions.

Like predicted, I am not strong. But if I am anything, I am determined and I plan to build up strength so that I do not fall behind. I can't fall behind, not when finding out who I am in so important. Four has up pair up and working on blocking. I have my arms up and hitting Christina's and when I hear Four's low voice, I pause, but only briefly. He had started talking to someone…Eric, by the sound of his voice. I know is it Eric's voice before turning because I recognize the disdain in it. If he hates it here, why does he stay? Why doesn't he just go back to the city and do something else?

"Are they ready to fight?"

"Are you kidding?" Four asks. "We just started."

There is a pause and then Eric speaks again. "Tris and Molly," he shouts out. "In the ring."

I drop my arms and turn to look at the girl coming toward me. She is tall and just by the looks of her, I know she's going to knock me on my ass. I swallow and I walk toward the ring. We stand there, our hands in front of our faces and then she lunges at me. I move out of her way and tank a swing, hitting her in the side. But because I have no muscle, there is barely any driving force behind it. She grabs my arm and begins to punch me in my stomach. I push away from her to strike again, but before I can hit her, her fist swings around to collide with my face. I fall the ground with a groan and when I look up she hits me again and then I see nothing.

I wasn't out for long, and when I do come to, Christina is offering me a towel for my cheek and I press it against it. It stings and I know that I will have a bad bruise in the morning. "Thank you," I tell her. "God that was pathetic." I look up and my eyes find Four standing on the far side of the bit watching the group as they train. I swallow. "If he had been looking at me before, he sure wont' be now." I toss the towel to the side before getting back up and nudge Christina. "Do you want to go again?" She nods and we start again.

After training is over for the day and the clock strikes six, Eric is back and I feel like the smirk on his lips is meant for me. I didn't do my best today. But I have a chance to build up. "Today wasn't great," he says. "It was actually quite a pathetic show." I swallow as his eyes land on me, but I don't look away. "You've heard about students failing out their dorms, right?" He asks. "Well, in Dauntless, if you don't pass training, you're out. You get cut and you go home. Well not home, but back to the city. And that's it." I hear murmurs around the group. Cut? As in kicked out? "You'll have rankings every day. By the end of stage one, if you haven't made it above the red line, you're out. And we won't spend any more time on you. Because you won't be worth it."

A screen flashes behind him and the list of names pops up and far below the red line, second to last, is my name. My stomach falls and I take a breath. What if I don't make it? What if I fail? Eric leaves the room and the group begins to trickle out, heading up to the cafeteria for dinner. I stand there, staring at the screen. Christina nudges me.

"Are you coming?" she asks.

I shake my head. "Not yet," I say. "I'll be up in a few minutes."

I take my hair out of my ponytail and run my fingers through it. It was going to take a miracle to get me above that line. "What am I going to do?" I whisper to myself.

"You're going to come back tomorrow and do better."

I jump because I hadn't realized anyone was still with me in the room. "Shit," I say putting a hand to my chest and turning toward the voice. "Warn a girl, would you?"

Four smiles at me. It's a half smile that leaves me confused and wanting more. I don't know what it is about him, or what it is he wants from me. H's definitely older than I am, and having seen the girls here, he had better options than me. The small, weak, plan girl from the part of town that people avoided. I wasn't anything special. But there he was, standing in front of me, talking to me. "It was just the first day," he says. "You'll get better."

"Why would he make us fight when we barely knew anything?" I ask.

"Eric isn't really the fairest leader here at Dauntless," Four tells me. "Train harder…faster. You might end up surprising yourself at the things that you learn here."

I look at him, narrowing my eyes at him. "What does that mean?"

He looks at me for a moment before taking a step toward me. It takes everything in me not to take a step back. He's intimidating and I know that I can't back away from him. And the worst of it is that I don't want to. "It means you have time. You're going to get it."

"You don't even know me," I say." So how can you know that?"

He shrugs. "I just have a feeling."

I want to ask him what that feeling is, but he's already started to walk out of the room. I swallow and breathe out. The weight lifts off my shoulders as he disappears from view. He's definitely intense. And I can't read him. But I'm definitely looking forward to figuring him out.


	4. Chapter 4

I am still confused by the conversation that I had just had with Four. It was weird. Though I had just met him, I already felt like he wasn't the type of guy to stick around and have a conversation with someone like that. Especially not someone like me. Weak. I make it up to the cafeteria and immediately I look for him. When I don't see him, I feel this odd feeling like disappointment in the pit of my stomach and I wonder where it's coming from. I scan the crowd a second time and see Christina waving me over. She's with Will and Al and I join them, forcing the odd sensation away.

"What happened to you?" Christina asks.

I shake my head. "Nothing," I say. "I just wanted a few minutes, really."

"You're going to be okay," Will says. "It's just the first day."

I shrug as I pop some bread into my mouth. "I hope so," I say. "Second to last is pretty pathetic."

"You'll get better," Al says. I half wonder if Al is saying that to himself or to me. His name was also below the red line. The red line is going to be taunting me...as long as I'm beneath it, I am weak. And I don't want to be weak. I don't want Four_...anyone..._to see me like that.

I bite my lip to keep myself from saying something, to console him maybe? I'm not sure. Christina sets her cup down.

"So you guys heard Four say there was a tattoo parlor right?" she asks. I nod. "I think we should go get tattoos tonight."

"I agree."

She looks at me, a surprised expression crossing her features. "You? Really?"

"Is that so surprising?"

She shakes her head. "No," she says with a smile. "I thought you came from the part of town that looked down on that kind of shit."

She wasn't wrong. That had been my lifestyle and the way that my parents had raised me to see things. I shake my head. "It's my past, Chris," I say. "I'm not that person anymore."

She grins at me. "Okay, okay," she says holding her hands up in defense. "Let's go."

We get tattoos after we finish eating dinner. I didn't know what I wanted to get until I walked into the shop and saw the picture of the ravens. I have three of them on my collar now, leading to my heart. To me, despite me wanting to get rid of my weaknesses, they are a reminder of the family that I had left behind. Granted, I didn't have a choice in the matter, but I will never be able to see them again. That's it, it's over. I'm my own person now and I make the decisions. Even now I can still feel the sting of the needle on my skin. I stand in front of the mirror in the bathroom that's just off of the Pit, waiting for the rest of them to finish getting their tattoos. The skin surrounding the birds is bright red and it's sensitive to the touch. I lean in and squint, breath passing through my lips in a hiss as I press too hard against the skin.

"Don't touch that."

I jerk back and look at the person standing at the sink next to me. It's Four. Why does it feel like he just keeps showing up out of nowhere? I swallow, nervously. I don't know if I'll ever get used to coed bathrooms. My breath shakes, so I bite my lower lip to try to keep myself calm.

"What are you doing here?" He raises his eyebrows at me, amused, and I look away from him, back at my reflection in the mirror. "Sorry."

I reach back up and touch the birds again, my fingers gentler this time. "I said don't," he says grabbing my wrist and pulling me around to face him. My breath catches in my throat and I look back up at him. His dark blue eyes are focused on mine and it makes it hard to think. I lick my lips. "You don't want it to get infected."

I can't speak for several moments and I can't will myself to move. So we just stand there looking at each other before the echo of footsteps comes toward us and he jerks away from me like he's caught fire or something. I clear my throat and turn back to look at myself in the mirror.

"Tris are you in here?" I hear Christina before I see her, her giggling following her footsteps, and I realize that she's probably been flirting with Will. They appear in the mirror behind me and I notice Al's watching the space between Four and me. I lick my lips. "You done?"

I nod and smile. "Yup," I say before my eyes flick to meet Four's in the mirror. He nods at me like I had been asking him for permission and I realize, maybe a second too late that I have had been. I grab a paper towel to dry my hands and then I book it out of the bathroom with the three of them on my heels.

"What was _that_ about?" Al asks. He's trying to sound nonchalant, but I remember the flash of jealously that had been in his eyes when he saw Four in the bathroom.

I shake my head. "Nothing," I say. "He didn't even say anything." Blatant lie, but I was hoping they wouldn't notice. I turn back to look at them, taking extra are not to look at Al because I don't think I can handle that look on his face. "How long did Tori say it was going to take to heal?"

"A couple days, maybe a week," Will shrugs. "At least yours isn't really easy to pick at."

I smile. "Try not to touch your tattoos, I say. "You don't want them to get infected." I don't notice that I'm quoting Four until the words are out of my mouth. And when I realize it, I can't keep the smile off of my lips.

We stay up late and I don't leave them early because I don't want to seem like that girl from the part of the city that wasn't exactly known for its fun. I still keep my plan in mind because I know that I have to get stronger and I have to train better. So I wake up a few hours later, way before anyone else gets up and I head upstairs to the Pit wearing my black pants and a sweater. I find one of the punching bags and began throwing punches against it. I don't know how long I stand there for, whacking the swinging beam back and forth. I pause and I look down at my hands which have become bruised and bloody.

"Jesus Christ, Tris," a voice says. "Why are you up so early?"

I grip the punching bag to keep myself from falling, leaning against it and I look over at Four. I shake my head.

"Why are you always around?" I ask him. My voice is quiet because I'm exhausted and I skipped out on breakfast. But I'm genuinely curious. I feel like every time that I'm alone he's always coming up and saying something cryptic. "Are you following me or something?"

He chuckles. "No," he says, coming toward me with a water bottle and a muffin in hand. "Here."

"Thanks," I say taking the food and taking a bite. "But seriously though," I say. "Why do you keep hanging around?" I ask. "I'm definitely not that interesting."

He stares at me and I avoid his gaze by taking a drink of water. "You really don't recognize me, do you?"

I take the bottle away from my lips and shake my head. "Should I?" I didn't recognize anyone from my old life, I didn't know many people. So his question throws me.

He holds my gaze for a few moments before shaking his head. "No," he says. "Never mind." I bite my lip before I decide to finish off the muffin. I feel better, if only a little, and once I finish I toss the wrapper into the trash. "You didn't answer my question, by the way."

I sit down on the ground, with my back leaning up against the wall. "I'm up because I'm the weakest."

"Second weakest."

I narrow my eyes at him. "That's not funny."

"Would you believe me if I said I wasn't trying to be funny?"

I shake my head. "No."

"Well I wasn't," Four says. "It doesn't matter where your rankings are on day one. Sure, the others might look at you like you're easy to pick off or something, but I know that you're not."

"I'm not strong, Four."

"You'll get there."

"How?" I ask. "I was up hours before everyone, but I don't feel any different."

He chuckles. "Tris, give yourself time. It doesn't just happen overnight."

"Why is it so hard for me?" I say. "And so easy for everyone else?"

He shrugs. "It might not be. People just know how to save face."

I get up from my spot on the floor so that I can feel like he's not looking down on me so much. He's still way taller than I am, so we're not exactly eye to eye, but it's better than me being on the ground. "So that's what I need to do?" I ask, tilting my chin up to look at him. "Save face?"

"No, you need to keep trying, and keep training."

"And what if that doesn't work?"

"Then I'll help you."

"You'll help me."

"Yeah," he says. "Is that so hard to believe?"

"Why though?" I ask. "Why would you help me?"

"Because I was you before," Four says. "I was where you were."

Now it's my turn to laugh. "I don't believe that."

"It's true."

"Did you have help?" I ask. "With training?"

"No."

"Then I'll ask you again. Why would you help me?"

The muscles in his jaw clench and I wonder if maybe I've pushed too far or said something that I shouldn't have. But there is no taking it back this time.

"Why are you so stubborn?" he asks, his voice hard.

"I could ask you the same thing!"

We stare at each other for a few moments, neither of us moving and I can feel my heart pounding in my chest. I swallow past the lump in my throat as he takes a step toward me.

"You know," he says, his voice soft. "People don't generally talk to me like that here."

"Well maybe they should." My voice doesn't come out as hard this time. It took almost everything to even force the words out.

He smiles at me, a half smile that sends a jolt through my body. He glances down my face and then back up at my eyes. I think that he is going to kiss me and I know that I want him to. But then he speaks "What are the birds?"

"What?"

He reaches down and brushes a finger underneath the smallest bird, far enough away from the raised skin that the only sensation I feel is the heat that spreads through me at his touch. "The birds.

I glance down at his finger. "Oh," I say. "They're supposed to represent my past. My family…the people that I've left behind."

His finger lingers for a moment before he drops his hand to his side. "You belong here, you know that?" He whispers to me.

I will myself to look up at him and when I do, his intense gaze stops my breath in my throat. I can't say anything, so I just nod. I could stay like that for hours, if I wanted to. If _he _wanted to. But then moments later, yells echo off the stone wall and my initiation class starts to enter the Pit. I move away from Four and head over to where Christina is looking at me with a curious expression on her face.

"Where were you this morning?" she asks.

"I just wanted to get some training done," I answer.

She nods. "What were you guys talking about?" she asks gesturing to Four who's started giving instructions on today's lesson.

I shrug. "I have no idea." And this time, it's not a lie.


	5. Chapter 5

I come down to the Pit after dinner and continue training. Everyone is hanging around the dorms, or getting tattoos or trying on clothes or even hanging out in the computer room. I had only used a computer at school when I was working on assignments because my parents believed that they were time consuming and they made people selfish. So outside of school, I never had access to them. And I didn't mind, I spent most of my time making sure that my parents didn't find out the truth about myself and how I wasn't really the selfless type of girl. I could take some of my free time and learn what all the fuss was about computers and their interactive screens, but the only thing that I really want to focus on is training. It's mostly because I _do_ want to get better and learn to fight and take care of myself. But another part of me is hoping that Four will join me. The moments that I've spent with Four when it was just the two of us, they were some of my favorite. Sure, the attention he gives me irks me, but that doesn't mean that I don't enjoy his company. I want to know more about him and I want to know what makes him tick. Finding that out is one of the things I've added to my long list of things that I want to accomplish. But making it over the red line is number one on that list. Because I don't get that taken care of, the rest of the list won't matter, because I won't belong here anymore. And I can't take that risk. So I train. And I _will _train every night that I can.

I'm back at the punching bag, throwing punches and feeling the sting run up my arms with every blow that I land. And then I hear footsteps. I don't know who it is, but my heart races like it could be Four coming toward me. I don't want to get my hopes up or make it obvious that I had been wanting him to join me, so I don't turn around. I keep working, and I keep trying.

"Wow, Tris."

It's not Four. It's Al, and my heart sinks inside of my chest. I know how Al looks at me and I have a general understanding about how he might feel about me, but I don't remember doing anything that would encourage that kind of behavior.

I drop my hands and I turn toward him. "Hey," I say. "What's up?"

"What, uh, what are you doing down here?" he asks. "Training was over at six."

"I know," I say, nodding. "I just want extra time...to get better."

"Oh," he says. He's watching me and I feel very naked in my tank top.

I cross my arms over my chest and bite my lower lip. Did you...did you need something?"

He shakes his head. "No," he says, running his fingers through his hair.

I want to look anywhere but at him, because I don't remember being this uncomfortable in a conversation before. What does he want? My eyes are drawn to the main entrance of the Pit and I see Four standing there, watching the two of us. His mouth is turn down in a frown and I look back at Al.

"I'll be down in a couple of hours," I say quickly, hoping that Al didn't notice my momentary distraction.

Al looks taken aback, but he just nods and then lets out a sigh as he leaves the Pit. I let out a breath that I hadn't realized I had been keeping in before turning back to the punching bag. After a few moments, Four is next to me and I am not surprised.

"Your boyfriend looked disappointed."

But _this_ definitely surprises me. I look at him. "My what?"

"Your boyfriend," Four says. "Why did you send him away?"

I raise my eyebrows at him and shake my head. "Al is _not_ my boyfriend," I tell him. "Where did you even come up with that?"

"From the way he looks at you," Four says. "I just figured that you two were a thing or something."

I can't help but laugh. "No," I say with a smile. "What, were you jealous?" It was meant to come out as a joke, but I wasn't, because I really wanted to know the answer to the question. _Was_ he jealous? And if he was, what did it mean?

He doesn't say anything, and the lack of the answer is answer enough, right? Not saying anything is just as bad as saying something. It implicates you...maybe in different ways, but it implicates nonetheless. He keeps his eyes on me and I bite my lower lip, not quite knowing what to say at this point so I just scratch at a phantom itch on my arm.

"What if I was?"

I swallow and stare at him, surprised. "What if you were what?"

"What if I was jealous?"

I shake my head. "Why would you be?" I ask. "I mean, look at me."

He confused. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah I'm serious," I tell him. "I'm not pretty, Four."

"Hey..."

"No, don't try that with me," I tell him. "There are far prettier girls here that you could be paying attention to me."

He narrows his eyes at me. "What makes you think that I care about your looks?"

"Don't you?"

He laughs. "God, Tris, really?" he says, shaking his head. "Come on, you're smarter than that, aren't you?"

I am offended, so I just nod and turn away from him heading to the bleachers to grab my sweater. I hear his footsteps and know that he's following me. It doesn't take any time to catch up with me given the height difference between the two of us.

"You're right, okay?" he says. I don't look at him as I pull my sweater over my head. "There _are_ far prettier girls here. But in case you hadn't noticed, I'm not talking to them."

"I had noticed," I answer. "Why is that?"

"Do you want the truth?"

I drop my hands to my side. "Yeah, I want the truth!"

"It's because of your eyes," he tells me.

"I don't understand."

"From the first moment that I saw you, I knew you were different," he says. "You had a look in your eyes like you were determined to be here...wanting to change."

I lift my chin. "I _do_ want to change."

"Good," he says, taking a step toward me. "Because that's what Dauntless is all about. Changing you and everything that you once stood for.

"Then it's a good reason that I didn't have anything to stand for."

He looks down at the spot where my tattoo is, but now covered by the sweater. "Not even your family?"

I lick my lips and shrug. "I don't know," I say. "There were my family…but aren't you supposed to be someone else outside of your family?"

He stares at me, his dark blue eyes unblinking on my own. "Yeah," he says after a while. "You are."

I sit down on the bleachers and he sits down on the step above me, so I turn to look at him. "Seriously though, "I say. "What do you see in me?"

"The other girls here," he says, gesturing to the building. "The ones you say are far prettier than you are?" I nod. "They _know_ they're pretty and a lot of them take far too much pride in the fact. I think that it's a gross quality. And it's one that you don't have, which is something I find extremely attractive."

Attractive. I blush and bite my lower lip. "That's a word that's never been used to describe me," I say.

"I think you might be selling yourself short there."

"I don't think so."

"Come on, Tris," he says. "Can you just let me pay you a compliment?"

"Depends."

"Oh what?"

"On whether or not you have ulterior motives."

"What ulterior motives would I have?"

I don't have an answer to that, so I just smile and shake my head. "Fine," I say. "You can pay me a compliment," I say. "I just…I've never…." I trail off because what I'm about to say sounds ridiculously insane right now. And childish and I don't want to come off that way.

"You've never what?"

"I've never liked anyone before," I tell him. "Not like this."

He raises his eyebrows at me, a half smile on his lips. "You like me?"

I make a face and turn away from him. "Can we just forget this conversation ever happened?"

I hear him chuckle. "No," he says. "No we can't."

I hear him get up and when I turn to look, he's sitting next to me, his face close to mine. My breath catches, but I can't look away. I swallow hard past the lump in my throat. "Why not?"

His dark blue eyes are locked on mine and he smiles. "Because that would just be counterproductive."

And then he leans in and presses his lips to mine.


	6. Chapter 6

I hadn't expected that. I had definitely not expected him to kiss me. And I hadn't expected to feel the way that I felt when he did. He dropped me off at the dorms hours ago, but I can still feel the heat of his lips pressed against mine. I know that I should be sleeping because I have to be up in a few hours anyway to get my early morning training done, but all I can think about is that conversation. I flip over in bed and close my eyes, trying to calm my thoughts enough so that I can fall asleep. But when I close my eyes all that I do is relay the moment again.

I wake up a few hours later, hitting the alarm on my clock so that it does wake anyone else. I get dressed quickly before heading upstairs to the cafeteria to grab some morning breakfast. I finish off the muffin quickly before heading to the Pit. It is still early, not even six thirty, when I make it into the high ceilinged room. It is not empty, as it was yesterday morning, but I am not surprised at the intruder. He looks up as I enter and that grin on his face is almost enough to make my knees go weak.

"I didn't think you were going to wake up early today," He says.

I shrug as I walk toward him. "Why wouldn't I?"

"You didn't get to bed until late, is all."

"I think that you're partially to blame for that," I say stopping in front of him.

"Oh you know what?" he says smirking at me. He leans down and presses a kiss to my lips. "You're right about that."

I grin up at him, knowing that my cheeks are bright, and it's not because I'm embarrassed or anything, he just makes me feel alive, as cliché as that sounds. I move over to the bleachers to set my sweater down before turning to look at him. "Where should we start?"

"I think we should talk first."

I raise my eyebrows at him. That never sounded good. I swallow and then sit down, nodding. "Okay," I say. "What's up?" My voice cracks on the last word, because I'm nervous now.

He sits next to me and runs his hands over his pant legs. "Don't be nervous," he says, reaching out to take my hand. I look at him and bite my lower lip. "I just think that we should be careful. I don't want anyone to think that I'm playing favorites."

I nod and look over at the scoreboard. "It doesn't look like you're playing favorites."

"But you're going to get better," he says. "Especially with the extra training that you're doing, that I'm going to help you with."

I look back at him. "This isn't about you regretting kissing me last night, is it?"

"What?" he asks, shaking his head. "God no." He squeezes my hand. "I definitely don't regret that."

"You don't?"

He looks surprised. "Of course not," He says. "Do you?"

I don't answer, I lean forward and press my lips to his, letting them linger for a moment. "Does that seem like I regret it?"

He lets out a sigh and rests his head against mine. "God you're going to be the death of me, you know that?"

I grin and kiss him again. "So we keep this under wraps," I say. "For how long?"

"Until after training," Four says. "But no one in the compound usually wakes up before seven thirty, so that if we continue this until training is over, we'll have that time to ourselves."

"What about after six?" I ask. "I remember you saying that we can't leave the compound unless we're with a member."

"Yeah, it's Dauntless rules."

"Would you…" I pause. "Would you want to come with me to find my brother?"

"Your brother?"

"Yeah," I say. "I don't know what dorm he was put into, but he came around a few months ago."

"I could look through the records and see who else in the school has the last name Prior," Four says. "It might take me some time, but we can definitely go find him when I do."

"Thank you," I tell him.

He nods. "Of course," he says. He gets up and I follow him over to the fighting mat. "By the way, we're all leaving the compound tomorrow night for some war games."

"War games?"

"I think it's best if you're surprised," he says with a grin.

I look down at the mat and then back up at Four. "Last time I stood on this mat, I got my ass handed to me by Molly."

"Like I said," he says. "It was your first day. Plus, I don't know if you've noticed, but you've been getting better."

"You think so?" I ask him.

"I do," he says. He looks up at the clock on the wall. "We've got about half an hour left before everyone else comes down. You want me to teach you a few things?"

I eye him up and down. "I don't think I could take you."

He grins. "I'll go easy on you," he smirks.

When training is over for the day, I am one of the last to leave the Pit and I hope that no one has started to notice. I walk over to the cooler and pull out a water bottle, taking a sip. I stretch my arms over my head and let out a groan. My entire body is sore, but because of my training with Four, I have started to get better and faster. I know what to expect and hopefully I won't have as many bruises the next go around.

"You did well today," Four says coming up behind me.

"Well I didn't pass out, so that's always a good thing, right?"

"A very good thing," he says. He looks around the Pit before stepping closer to me and pressing his lips to mine. The kiss lingers and when he pulls away I feel shivers run through down my spine. I bite my lip when he pulls away and I smile at him

"So I've got to go shower," I say. "But I'll see you later?"

He pauses and makes a face. "Those showers are really open down there," he says. "You can come up to my room and shower if you'd like."

I raise my eyebrows, shaking my head. "I thought initiates weren't allowed up there."

"I don't actually live up there," He says. "My apartment is off the main floor."

"Oh…" I lick my lips and swallow. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, why not?" he asks.

I shake my head. "No reason," I say. "Let me get some clothes and then I'll meet you back up here in ten minutes?"

He nods. "I'll be in the cafeteria."

I smile at him as I run out of the Pit to head down into the deep underbelly of the Dauntless compound. It has been less than twenty-four hours since our first kiss, but every time I see him, it spreads through me and I feel more alive. I am not nervous about going to his room. I am nervous about having to come up with an excuse for my friends. Granted, none of them will be downstairs just yet. Right after training ends is when they head to the cafeteria to get dinner. So I should probably be in the clear.

I get to my bunk and pull my bag from underneath. What clothes does one wear to their…boyfriend? Is that the right word to use? I groans as I pull out a pair of jeans and a long sleeve black t-shirt. I hear a noise and I whirl around and see Peter. Peter is one of the top initiates. He is vicious and brutal. Anyone would be scared of him. He and I have never really spoken, except to exchange a few words here and there. Mostly it's just him pushing me out of the way and me apologizing for it. I know that It's not my fault, but given my selfless upbringing, it's a partial habit.

"What are you doing down here?" he asks me.

"What do you mean?" I ask. My voice is shaky, so I take a breath to try to calm myself. _Get it under control._

"Why aren't you eating dinner with the rest of them?"

"I'm not hungry," I tell him. "What about you?"

"I followed you down here."

My blood runs cold. "What?"

"Yeah, you see, I noticed you were getting better turning training and I wanted to ask you why you thought that was."

"It's training, Peter," I snap. "I'm supposed to be getting better, aren't I?"

He shakes his head. "But it's different than that," he says. "You look like you're getting a different kind of training than the rest of us."

"I don't follow."

"Who's training you?" he asks me, taking a step toward me. If he's asking, that means he doesn't know, right? It means that he doesn't know what's going on between me and Four. I have to keep it that way, no matter what. I can't let them think any less of me. "What's your secret?"

"I don't have a secret," I say. "And no one is training me. Maybe I'm just getting better."

He takes another step. "See, I don't believe that, _Tris_," he hisses my name. "I'm going to find you out and then I'll have a good time bringing you down."

I wait for him to come closer or to hit me or something, but he just stares at me, and that is more unnerving than anything else he could have done. He leaves the room, taking the stairs up two at a time and I can't move. I fall back on my bed, my knees shaking. I put my head between my hands and when I hear footsteps, I jerk up and recoil. But it's not Peter coming toward me, it's Four. Once he sees the distressed look on my face, he's at my side in a moment of seconds.

"Hey," he says. "What happened?"

I take a breath. "Peter," I say.

I feel him tense. "What did he do?" his voice is hard, his jaw clenched.

"He didn't _do_ anything," I say. "He just…he's suspicious already."

"What did he say?"

"He wants to know why I'm getting better already," I say. "And he wants to find out the truth." I look up at him. "What if he finds out about us?"

Four shakes his head. "He won't," he says. "I have friends here that can talk to him about threatening initiates. Trust me."

"But won't be know that I've said something?"

He brushes my hair behind my ear. "It'll be okay," he says. "I've got this. Don't worry."

I nod and meet his eyes. "Thank you."

"Anytime," he says. "So you ready?"

"Yeah," I say grabbing my clothes and standing. "Let's go."


	7. Chapter 7

Once we get to Four's apartment, he offers me a clean towel and then points me in the direction of his bathroom. I am grateful for the separation from him only because it gives me a second to breathe and to process everything. Once inside, I lock the door and turn on the water. I look at my reflection in the mirror and glance down at my tattoo. It's still scabbing, but I keep my hands away like Four had said. My heart is beating fast in my chest and I can only guess that it's because I'm nervous. I like Four, that much is obvious, but he's older than I am. He's probably had tons of experience with flirting and dating. And I...have not. I let the steam fill the room for a few more moments before I finally decide to get in. After the day of training that I have had, the hot water is a godsend on my sore muscles. I take my time washing my hair and body because the past few days I haven't really had time to have a good shower like this. Not down in the imitates bathroom; not when it was so open that anyone would have been watching. Once I feel I have eased most of the tension in my back, I shut off the water and grab the towel, drying myself off. I get dressed in the black t-shirt and jeans and towel dry my hair before I pull it back into a pony tail. I hang the towel on a hook that is on the back of the door before I pull it open and head back into the main part of the apartment.

Four is across the room, standing at a computer, looking intently at the screen, but he glances up at me as I come closer him. "Feel better?" he asks.

"Much," I say with a smile. I sit down on the stool next to him. "What are you looking at?"

He opens a window on the monitor and types something on the keyboard, so fast that I can barely follow. "I'm searching the school databases to see which dorm your brother was assigned to when he showed up."

I lean in close to the screen and I make a mental note to ask if he can teach me how to use the computer given the fact that I don't know more than how to use one for school. I think it would be useful to have a skill other than fighting, not that I would consider it a skill yet. I can't follow what he's doing or what pages he is going through, so I just lean forward on the table and glance up at his looks so serious...granted, since I've met him, he's always had that expression, but lately when it's just the two of us, he hadn't been so serious. But maybe this is just him, in his element.

"Why are you looking at me?" he asks. His eyes don't move from the computer and he keeps typing away, but I see the corner of his mouth twitching upward and it makes me blush.

I shake my head, biting my lower lip. "I'm not," I say quickly.

That's when he moves his head. He raises a brow at me. "Really?"

"What?"

"I saw you," he says.

I shake my head. "No you didn't." I feel slightly embarrassed that he caught me starting at him. Does that show how naïve I am? How new all of this is to me? Does it makes me come off as a child? I don't want to come off as immature with him. I don't want to give him a reason to rethink this...to rethink me.

He narrows his eyes at me but then turns back to the computer. After a few more clicks and swipes on the screen, he says, "He was put in Erudite."

"Erudite," I repeat, shaking my head. The classification doesn't mean anything to me. "Okay...what is that?"

"Erudite is the dorm that seems themselves as above everyone else. They believe in knowledge, like we believe in bravery. It's the highest power that one can have, and because of they think they're better than the rest of us."

By the way the muscle in his jaw tenses, I realize there might be bad blood. "And that doesn't really make for fair play between us and them?"

He shakes his head. "It's not really that," he says. "It's just, the dorms don't interact, ever, if at all possible," he tells me. "It's been like that since before I even came here. It's even like that in the city."

I know what he means. Back in the city, people from different sectors didn't interact with others. My father, who worked with some of the leadership of the city only interacted with others because of his position. But even a school before, you only interacted with people you are raised around. That's just how it's been for years and years. "Do you think it's forbidden?"

He shakes his head. "No," he says. "I can send him a message through the servers and have him meet us maybe in a few days. I don't know how they train their initiates at Erudite, so I don't know for sure if he'll come..."

"He will," I say quickly. My brother is still my brother, right? Or has he forgotten about our family in the few shorts months that he's been away from us? From what I know about this school, which was nothing when I arrived and even less now that I'm actually here, I don't know how much a dorm can change a person. I don't know if my brother still thinks of himself as part of our family, or if he considers the people in his dorm his family now. I have to believe that there is still a part of him that remembers who I am.

Four looks at me and nods. "Okay," he says. He turns back to the screen and types in a message before hitting a spot on the screen. Then it goes black. I let of a breath of relief. The nerves I had upon walking into his apartment are back, because now there is nothing to focus on. I rub my arms as a shiver runs down my spine and I silently curse myself for not bringing a sweater up with me. "Are you cold?"

I look up at Four, who's watching me. I shake my head. "I'm okay."

He gets up from his stool and walks over to the dresser and pulls out a lump of black material. He hands to me. "You don't have to save face with me," he says.

I meet his eyes and nod slowly, taking the bundle from him. I look down and smile when I realize that it's one of his sweaters. I quickly pull it over my head and as I do, I catch a whiff of his scent and it gives me more pleasure than it probably should. "Thank you."

He smiles at me and then rubs his hands on his pants. "You hungry?" he asks me.

I am, but the thought of going down to the main hall with everyone isn't as appealing as spending time with Four alone. I don't want to go back to instructor and initiate just yet. It feels too soon. But I can't be selfish in this aspect. If I don't eat, I won't have enough strength for tomorrow's round of training. So I nod. "Yeah, actually," I say hopping off of the stool. "I wonder what they're having..." I say heading toward the door.

"Whoa," he says, and he tugs on my elbow pulling me back around to face him. "Where are you going?"

I shake my head. "What do you mean?"

"Are you leaving?"

I point toward the door. "Aren't we going to go eat?"

He grins at me. "Not down there no," he says. "You're going to help me cook."

I raise my eyebrows at him. "You...cook?" I ask following him to the kitchen in the apartment.

"I'm decent with a pot of boiling water," he tells me. "Which is why you're going to help me."

I purse my lips in thought, but then end up nodding. "Okay," I say. "What do you want me to do first?"

He takes out a pot hanging above the island then fills it with water at the sink. "Can you grab the chicken from the fridge for me?"

"Yup." I get the chicken out and then set the container on the counter before turning back to him. He puts the pot of water on the stove and looks back at me. I've cooked before, but it's never been as exciting as this is right now. Spending time with him, learning new things...this was how I wanted my new life to be. I wanted to learn new things and have new experiences and someone to share them with. This was it. This was perfect. "So what are we making?"

"See if you can tell me," he says smiling as he walks over to the fridge, coming back with carrots and celery setting them on the counter. I recognize the ingredients. I've made this hundreds of times for my family. This was a normal meal that we made where I lived. Where I was raised, you cooked with a minimal of flavor and this was one of those meals. I don't know what people ate in other parts of the city, but could this mean that he was from the same part of town that I was from? know what else we need

"Potatoes?" I ask him. My voice cracks on the word because I am nervous but I am also excited to find out more about him.

"Yeah," He says with a grin as he starts to cut the other vegetables. "They're in the pantry on the bottom."

My heart is racing as I walk to the small door and tug it open, bending down to grab a few potatoes before heading to the sink. I grab a knife and begin peeling them. Our backs are to each other now, and the only thing I can hear is our breathing as we both work. I lick my lips nervously.

"Are you going to ask me?" His voice is quiet, but I can hear the tension in his voice. Why is he nervous? I'm the nervous one. What if we knew each other before but I have no idea who he is? Does that make him angry that I don't remember? I didn't have friends...hell I barely knew my neighbors.

I swallow and concentrate on the task at hand. "Uhm..." I pause because I don't know how to ask it. I don't know what words to use, or how to phrase the question. So I give up and I throw out the first thing that pops into my head. "How close were our houses?"

In the quiet room, I can hear him swallow. At least that means that I'm not the only one that is nervous. "I lived a few houses down from you," he says. "But to your next question, no, we didn't know each other."

I set the knife down and turn around, but the only view that I have is of his back. "How did I miss you?" I whisper. "I mean, I understand why you would have missed me, but-"

"I didn't miss you," he says. He turns around to look at me, that half smile on his lips. The one that makes me weak in the knees.

"What do you mean? I ask him.

"I knew who you were. Our families...they interacted on more than one occasion."

This throws me. "What?" I rack my memories trying to remember what families we had done dinners with, but I don't remember anyone who specifically stood out to me. I shake my head. "I don't..."

"You wouldn't," he says, turning back around to continue working. His voice has changed now. And through his shirt I can see that his muscles are tense. I don't know if I should ask him more, or if we just leave it at that. I don't know how to be a girlfriend. This is all new to me. But I don't need to urge him, he continues on his own. "I rarely attended dinner when there was company. My father and I...we didn't get along."

"Oh." That explains why I had never seen him. If I had seen him, I would have remembered. "But you had seen me?"

He keeps working, so I turn back around to finish with the potatoes. "I was upstairs, passing down the hall and you were in the front hallway. I didn't really want to be seen, so I booked it back to my room, but I saw you."

I feel myself blush so I bite my lower lip and bow my head a bit. The fact that he had seen me when I was like that...from before, it should embarrass me. It should make any guy turn away and change t heir mind. But not for Four.When I finish with the potatoes, I set them on the cutting board next to Four and look up at him.

"Is that why you want to help me?" I ask him.

He glances down at me. "Part of the reason."

"And the other part?"

He looks amused. "The other part you should already know."

I can't help but smile. "Because you like me?"

"You're damn right," He says and leans down to kiss me.

I stand on my toes to meet him halfway, grabbing onto his shirt to help keep my balance. When the kiss breaks I look up at him and shake my head slowly.

"What?" he asks.

"Nothing," I say. "You are...exceptionally phenomenal, you know that?"

"Ah, come on," he says shaking his head. "You're gonna make me blush."

I nudge his arm."I'm serious."

"So am I," he tells me. He takes the cutting board to the pot and slowly drops everything in . When he's done he turns back to me and takes my hand. "Listen up, Tris. I only want to say this once, okay?" I nod. "I like you. And it scares me."

"Why?" I ask, confused.

"Because I haven't done this before."

"You haven't done what?"

"This...dating," he says.

I stare at him. Dating. Were we dating? Was this a date? Was I on a first date and I didn't even know? Wow. Talk about oblivious. "Excuse me?"

"I've never dated anyone," he says. "I've been so busy focusing on learning everything that I could here that never focused on me. And it wasn't like anyone there was anyone here who caught my attention."

"So you're saying...that..."

"This is as new to me as it is to you," He laces our fingers together and I bite my lower lip. "So don't be afraid to say anything to me, okay?"

I swallow and then nod. "Okay."

"You promise?"

I pull on his shirt and kiss him again. "Promise," I whisper against his lips.

**A/N: Wow. I kind of rambled hard core here. But it's okay. I liked it. **


	8. Chapter 8

The next day, right before training is over, Eric comes into the Pit and looks over the scoreboard. I've started to notice that whenever Eric decides he wants to be pay attention, it means that you're under his scrutiny. And that could be either good and bad. Given the way he had looked at me the other day after Molly had knocked me on my ass, I needed to stay under his radar. I don't need to give him a reason to look any more closer at me. Because the closer he looks, the better the chance that he'll find out about Four and me. And that could turn out badly for the both of us. Four could lose his position and it could cause me to be kicked out of Dauntless. However, unlike the other day when he looked at the scoreboard, I am no longer second to last. I have moved up, but I still have a long way to go before I am in the clear. I am still not above the red line, but I'm sure that in time I'll get there. Especially with all of the training that Four and I have been doing.

"Alright, gather up!" Eric shouts out. He is pacing back and forth, spinning a knife in his hands. It seems like an easy movement for him, but by the looks it would take me months before being able to do that without cutting myself. "Your training might be over for the day, but your lessons are far from over for the day. Tonight, after dinner, we're heading out for war games."

There are murmurs throughout the crowd and I stand up a little straighter, my eyes finding Four's before looking away. He mentioned war games to me, but didn't go into any detail, so I had no idea what to expect. He had said on that first day that there would be some days where you had fun and some days when you didn't. I wondered if tonight would be one of the days that fell under the category of fun.

"We'll be leaving right after dinner," Eric says. "If you're not at the train at seven, you're out. We won't wait for you."

My eyes narrow in confusion. Being late for the train meant that you were out? Like out, out?

"What do you mean by out?" Christina asks. I'm glad she asked, because I would have been too nervous to speak out against Eric like that.

I look up at Eric and he's staring at Christina with an annoyed look on his face and I swallow.

"Out means out, initiate," he says. "We'd be done with you and you'd go back to the city."

There are more murmurs that spread through the crowd. It takes everything in me not to look at Four right now, but I can feel him looking at me.

"So don't be late," Eric says, pointing at the clock on the wall. "Tick tock."

He leaves the room and the murmurs get quieter as everyone start following Eric out. I feel someone touching my arm and I look up to see Al. I still haven't really spent time with him since I had pretty much sent him away the other day. I want to pull my arm away from him, but I'm not that person. On the scoreboard he has only risen slightly, and part of me is worried about him. He's not ambitious and he's not outgoing. I don't know how he's going to do in the rankings as time goes on. He needs help.

"Hey," I say, offering him a smile. "What's up?"

"You coming to dinner?"

"Yeah," I say. "I'm just gonna grab my stuff from the bleachers. But you can go on up without me. I'll be right there."

"I can wait..." he says.

"No that's fine," I tell him.

He watches me for a moment before nodding and then running after Will and Christina. I let out a breath before going to the bleachers to grab my sweater, pulling it over my head.

"Am I allowed to be jealous when he touches you?"

I feel myself smile at Four's question, and brush my hair out of my face as I turn to look at him. I shrug my shoulders. "Maybe," I tell him. "Are you?"

He nods. "Yeah," He says. "Is that bad?"

"No," I answer. "It's not bad at all."

Four glances toward the door to make sure there's no one there before leaning in to kiss me.

"So Eric is intense," I say when the kiss breaks. "Is he serious?"

"About getting kicked out?"

"Yeah."

"Unfortunately yeah," he says. "Eric doesn't threaten anything unless he's going to follow through on it."

That was what I had been afraid of. "Okay," I say. "Guess I better not be late."

He grins at me and we start walking out of the Pit together. "After war games," he says. "Do you want to come by my room?"

"Won't it be too late?"

"You could always stay over," he says.

I stop walking and stare up at him. "What?" The question comes out like a squeak and I clear my throat nervously.

His eyes go wide and he shakes his head."No, not like that," he says quickly. "I just...I meant..." He groans and runs his hand over his face. "I just meant to sleep."

I'm pretty sure my cheeks are bright red at this point. I bite my lower lip and nod. "Oh yeah," I say. "Of course."

"I made an ass of myself, didn't I?"

I shake my head. "No," I tell him. "You're fine." The hallway is clear so I stand on my toes and press a kiss to his cheek.

"Good," He smiles at me. "I'll see you on the train, okay?"

"Yeah," I tell him. "See you."

After dinner, everyone is rushed in the dorms getting dressed for tonight's war games. It is nearly seven, so the room is loud and rushed. I finish tying my shoes before we all run up the stairs to the train. The lights are on in every car, creating a vast contrast between the night sky and the dark light coming from the trains. I don't see Four, but I figure that it's best if I'm not looking for him. I swallow as we get onto the train, cramped between everyone. I am forced between Al and Christina and I wish that I wasn't. Being near Al, especially after the other day in the Pit, it makes me nervous. I don't want him to like me, I don't want to be that girl who makes him feel back because I don't like him back. I have never been that person. And I didn't want Dauntless to change me so much that I become heartless. Where would I be then, if I acted like Eric did?

"The game is simple," Four says. "It's like capture the flag. But with paint guns."

"Now I understand that Four hasn't taught you to use a gun yet," Eric says. His tone is condescending and I clench my jaw to keep my tongue in check.I can't speak out against Eric. It's too dangerous to even think about crossing him. "But this will be a good test of skill for you. If you can't shoot, then you lose. It's as simple as that." Four looks at Eric and I see the muscle in his jaw pulse and I quickly look over at Eric, who hadn't noticed. "Two teams, Four and I are captains."

When the train finally stops, the teams have bene chosen and luckily I am on Four's team. But I doubt that has anything to do with luck. Our team consists of Will, Christina and a couple other initiates that I haven't gotten to know yet. Once we are off of the train, we run off in the opposite direction of Eric's team and it's then that I start to pay attention to my surroundings. It looks like an amusement park. Not like a super fancy, super rich, amusement park, but one that had enough money to start it up in the beginning, but because not enough people showed up, got shut down sooner than anyone had anticipated. I see a Ferris Wheel in the direction that we're heading and it dawns on me that because of the way that I was raised, I had never been to an amusement park. And maybe because of my life and the dorm that I lived in now, I might never have the time to experience something like this. I hope that I don't get so lost in my job and this dorm that I forget the things that I still want to get out of life. We gather together at the end of the walkway and everyone begins talking about possible places to hide the flag. I open my mouth, trying to speak, but I can't get a word in edgewise. I find myself looking back up at the Ferris Wheel.

I start to walk away from the group and look up at the ladder at the bottom of the wheel.

"What's up?" Four asks, his voice coming from behind me.

"I want to climb this."

"Why?"

"I think that if I get high enough I could see where the other team is hiding their flag," I say as I start to climb up.

"Tris..."

I look down at him. "What?"

"I can't let you do this alone."

"I'll be fine," I tell him.

"Oh I have no doubts that you will," he says, coming up after me.

As we keep climbing, I hear his breath start to get heavier and heavier and at one point I pause to look back at him. "Hey, are you okay?"

It takes him a second, but he responds. "Oh I've never been better." HIs voice comes out shaky and nervous.

"Are you afraid of heights?"

He looks up at me and his eyes are locked on mine. "Maybe."

"Oh my god," I say shaking my head, continuing to climb up the ladder. I still have a while to go until I am able to see the entire amusement park, and I'm not going to stop until I find out where Eric's team is.. "Then why did you come with me?"

"I had to make sure you were safe."

"By freaking yourself out?"

"I'm not...freaked out."

I shake my head. "God you really crazy, Four."

"Don't call me that," he says.

"What am I supposed to call you then?"

He doesn't say anything for a while, so I figure that it's just something he might not want to tell me. So I leave it at that. I don't end up stopping until I get to the top of the wheel, and after a couple of moments Four is right there beside me, panting for breath. I look over at him. "It's not so bad."

He looks at me and doesn't say anything, the expression says it all on his face. I grin and look out over the amusement part. "Oh there!" I say pointing across the way where I see the bright light of their flag.

"You belong here, you know that?" he says. His voice is quiet and the way that he's looking at me causes my breath to catch in my throat. I can't stop myself from smiling at him, and using the rungs of the Ferris Wheel to keep me steady, I lean over and press my lips to his.

By the time the games are over and we get off of the train back in front of Dauntless, everyone is full on covered in paint. My hair is spotted with several different colors of paint and my clothes are about my same. I honestly don't remember every being happier. Four was right. Some days would be fun and some days wouldn't be. Tonight was a fun day. I grin as I watch Will and Christina head into the building hand in hand and I feel Al looking at me like he wants to hold my hand. But I stray behind the group and eventually lose him in the crowd. Eventually it is going to get too difficult to keep avoiding him. He is going to realize that something is up.

As the rest of the initiates go into the building, I look to my left and see Four coming toward me, his clothes barely splattered in paint.

"Explain to me something," I tell him as we walk together.

"What?"

"How is it that I am completely covered in paint whereas you only have some on your sleeve."

"Shit I got hit?" He asks looking down at his sleeve and lets out a fake groan. "I thought I was faster than that."

"Shut up," I say pushing his arm. "I'm serious."

"I've gotten really good at avoiding bullets. Doesn't matter if they're from a paint gun or a real gun. It's all about training, and because I've stuck around, I've gotten faster and better."

"That makes sense," I say. "But I don't like knowing that you've been shot at by real guns."

He offers me a smile. "I'm still here, aren't I?"

"Yeah," I say. "You are."

Once we get inside the building, it's quiet and most of the initiates have already started down the steps down toward the dorms, leaving the main hallway empty for just me and Four. He takes my hand and laces our fingers together. It takes us no time to get to his room and once we're inside I go to the bathroom to begin washing the paint off of my face. It's worse than I thought it would be. Four leans against the frame and watches me.

"I've got some clothes for you," he says. "If you want to shower to get the rest of the paint off."

I nod. "Thanks," I say. "I'll be right out."

I strip out of my clothes and get into the shower to clean the paint off. The water swirling down into the drain is brown, mixed with all of the colors from the paint guns. Once I'm out, I put the long shirt over my head and head back out into the room. He's facing me, and pulling a shirt over his head and the sight of his chest causes my heart to race. I swallow, hard. He looks up at me and his eyes travel down the length of my legs and that causes my heart to beat even faster.

I clear my voice before speaking, because I don't want to squeak again. "Hey," I say sitting down on the bed.

"Hey," he says walking over and sitting down next to me.

"So I wanted to ask you something," I say.

"What's up?"

I chew on my lower lip. "You said not to call you Four...so what am I supposed to call you?" He pauses and it makes me to look up at him. "I need something to call you, you know."

"Tobias," he says after a long time. "You can call me Tobias."

The name sounds familiar to me and I look away from him, trying to focus on the memory. I shake my head and look at him. "You're Marcus' son?" It makes sense now. I always knew that Marcus had a son, but he never ate with us when they held family dinners. I had always thought it was strange, but we weren't supposed to ask questions. I remember seeing him pass in the upstairs hallway, it had just been a glimpse, but I had seen him. "I knew you?"

"Not really," he says. "Knew of, but that's better than nothing."

I take his hand "I saw you," I say with a smile. "I was so curious that day. But we weren't supposed to ask questions." I take a breath and try out his name. "Tobias."

"I hadn't realized how nice it would be to hear my name again," he says. "Especially when it's you who's saying it."

"Why do you have the nickname?"

"To make it harder for people to associate me with my past."

"Then you'll just be Tobias to me," I say resting my head on his shoulder. He presses a kiss to my head and I lift a hand to my mouth to stifle a yawn.

"All right, that's a sign if I've ever seen one," Tobias grins. "Get into bed."

I can't help but laugh as I get under the covers and I watch him as he stands. "You can sleep here, you know."

He stops and looks down at me. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah," I say. "I kind of don't want you to leave yet."

"I wouldn't be really going anywhere."

"Still," I say, scooting over in the bed to make room for him. I see the corner of his lips curve upward before he climbs in with me. I rest my head on his chest and with the feel of his arm wrapped around my waist, I feel content. I close my eyes and let the sound of our breathing lull me to sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

Sleeping in the same bed as Tobias wasn't as nerve-wracking as I thought it was going to be. Sure the first few moments, my heart was pounding in my chest and it was becoming difficult to breathe, but as the sound of his heartbeat against my skin and the feel of his breath against my neck, I felt safe and calm. I wake up before the sun. I have to get down to the basement so that I can change into my training clothes before anyone wakes up and suspects that I've been gone...or who I've been with. I slowly extract myself from Tobias' arms and his stirring makes me pause, but I move quickly away and put a pillow between his arms to confuse his brain so that he doesn't wake up. He'll probably give me crap for it later on, but it's better than people finding out about us. Whatever "us" is. I still have no idea what we are to each other. I know that I like him and I'm pretty sure that he likes me, but it could be dangerous for the both of us. I don't want anything to think that I'm cheating or that Tobias is playing favorites. And I don't want to risk becoming homeless. I've seen in the homeless people in our city and I don't think that I could live like that. I need to survive and I need to do things the right way. That is how our society works. I make it downstairs before everyone starts waking up and quickly change into my training clothes before heading back up to the cafeteria for breakfast. I'm earlier than I thought, so I take my time and allow myself to eat a little bit more than just a muffin. I'm finishing up my juice when Peter walks in and I can feel his eyes on me. And since we're the only two people in the room, it would be incredibly obvious if I started to ignore him. Not that anyone else would know if I decided to. However, I have been around Peter long

"Where were you last night?" he asks taking a bite of an apple as he walks toward me.

"What are you talking about?" I ask him.

"Last night, after the war games," he says. "You didn't come back to the dorms."

"Of course I did," I say, setting my now empty glass down on the table.

He sits across from me taking another bite. He grins at me. It's a cold grin and it sends a shiver down my spine. "Do you really think I'm that stupid, Tris?" he asks. "I saw you come in this morning doing a walk of shame. Who are you doing the deed with?"

I stare at him and I can't stop myself from laughing, because if he doesn't know who I'm doing the deed with, then he's really not as smart as he things he is. Not that I've done the deed. Tobias and I have only kissed so far. And slept together, but that was really only sleeping. Sure, he's older than I am, but I don't want to rush into anything that I'm not ready for, and I'm sure he will understand that. At least I hope that he'll understand it when the time comes.

"What the hell's so funny?" he asks, narrowing his eyes at me.

"The fact that you think I'm doing the deed with anyone," I tell him. "How about you worry a little more about your rankings and a little less about how I'm spending my time."

He's the one who laughs now. "You think that I need to worry about my ranking?" he asks. "I'm at the top of the class."

"You might want to check that again, Peter."

We both turn and see Tobias coming through the door with a smirk on his face. I try my best not to make eye contact because I know he'll be curious as why I left this morning.

"Excuse me?" Peter says.

"Uriah's outranked you," he says. "Just in case you thought you were number one or something."

Peter doesn't say anything and the look on his face makes me want to burst out laughing, but I bite my lip and get out from under the table.

"I still want to know where you were last night," Peter says.

I turn back to look at him. "We all want a lot of things, Peter," I say. "You're just gonna have to get used to disappointment."

I turn on my heels and head out of the cafeteria and down to the Pit. A few moments later Tobias is right behind me.

"He's suspicious," I say.

"Let him be," he says. "He doesn't know anything."

"He thinks I'm out having sex with someone."

"Are you?' I stop and look back at him and he holds his hands up in defense. "I was kidding."

"You better be kidding," I tell him before continuing to walk down the steps toward the training room.

"Peter's not that intelligent," he says coming up right next to me. "I was looking at his records from the city and he didn't get the best grades."

"You can see our old records?"

"Yeah," Tobias says. "We have access to pretty much everything here."

"That's..." I pause. "I don't know what it is, actually."

"Does it make you uncomfortable?"

"No...not uncomfortable," I say. "Just...strange. I thought the whole point of coming here to erase our past."

"It's not really your past that's being erased. It's who you were."

"So why do our records matter?"

"Records always matter."

"But why?"

He shrugs. "That's just always been the way...for as long as I've been here, and all the years before."

I nod. "Okay then," I say. "I guess that makes sense. Tradition is a big thing here."

"Extremely big," he says as we head over to the bleachers so I can put my jacket down. "By the way, did really try to replace yourself with a pillow?"

I smile. "You looked so serene, I didn't want to wake you."

"I'm a guy, I don't do serene," he says narrowing his eyes playfully at me. "Besides I woke up about five minutes later when I realize the pillow was most definitely not you."

"And how exactly did you figure that out?"

"Let's just say kissing a pillow is not nearly as fun as kissing you."

I grin. "Is it bad that that image makes me extremely happy?"

"Laugh it up all you want, Tris," he says. "At least you weren't there to see it."

I shake my head. "I wanted to get down before anyone realized I had been missing all night."

"How'd that go for you?"

"I mean it was just Peter who said he noticed I was even gone all night. But he's the only one I've spoken to this morning, so I don't know for sure yet. "I say. "I think he's really got it out for me. Why else would he be paying such close attention to me?"

"Maybe he likes you."

I make a face. "Gross," I say. "Don't ever say that again."

"You never heard that before? That if a boy is mean to you it means that he has a crush on you?"

"Of course I've heard it," I say. "But life does not work out that way. And I'll say it again. Gross."

He smiles. "Is it bad that I'm glad you're not interested?"

"No it's normal...I think," I say. "I wouldn't know. You're the first boyf- guy that I've liked."

He eyes me curiously. "Did you almost call me your boyfriend, Tris?"

I shrug. "I don't know...maybe?" I say. "I don't actually know what we are to each other."

He takes a step toward me. "I think we're to the point where you can call me your boyfriend," he says with a slight smile.

"And what about you?" I ask. "What am I to you?"

Tobias leans in and presses his lips to mine. "You are everything to me."

I smile at him and then push him away. "Okay, hands to yourself," I tell him. "The snake might walk in."

"The snake?"

"You don't see it? Peter's poisonous like a snake."

He grins at me. "Wow..." he says. "You really don't like him do you?"

I shake my head. "No, I don't," I say,. "He just...he irks me and he makes me nervous."

"You don't have to be nervous around him."

"When I'm alone I do," I say. "You can't come to my rescue all of the time. He'll see through stuff like that."

"Okay fine," he says. "Just...be careful okay?"

"You worried about me or something?" I ask.

"Always," he says.

I can't help but smile as I stand on my toes to press my lips to his cheek. "Okay," I say. "Let's fight."


	10. Chapter 10

After morning training, I follow the other initiates up the steps for lunch. I haven't spent as much time with them as I probably should have, so I know that that's something I need to start working on. If I spend too much time away, someone other than Peter is going to get suspicious and I don't want to have to worry about lying to people that I actually care about. They've been talking about training and how people keep moving up and down in rankings and some of us are actually doing pretty well. Unfortunately that doesn't include Al. He hasn't really moved much. Everyone's names on the boards keep moving all around him, but his name has been almost stationary. I wish there was a way to get him to focus and better, but maybe this just isn't something that comes naturally to him. I wish he could get one on one training that I'm getting, but part of me things that I shouldn't even be getting training. It's probably against the rules.

"Peter's insane," Christina says, her voice coming out in a hiss. "Did you see the way he and Molly were fighting each other?"

The mere mention of Peter's name makes me straighten up where I'm sitting. I'm not quite sure what he knows...or even if he knows anything at all. But the possibility of him knowing something about me and Tobias makes me nervous. I wish that it didn't, and I wish that I knew I was for sure safe here. But I'm not. So it makes me nervous to the point where I need to start watching how much time I spend away from the group. And how often he and I talk. Or the amount of time he holds my gaze for. I need to keep my distance from Tobias, even if I really don't want to. If Peter has started to notice things, then how long would it take for anyone else to realize what was happening? I'm getting better. I've been moving up in rankings and maybe that's part of the reason that Peter has been watching me so closely. Is he worried that I'll somehow surpass him and Uriah? I've gotten pretty good over the past week, but not that good. There is really only so much someone can learn in the amount of time that I've had to train. And it's nowhere as good as Uriah. Even if I'm moving up, Peter's name has barely moved. He shouldn't be worried, so why is he?

"I need to try to stay away from Peter," I say. "For as long as humanly possible."

Christina looks over at him. "He has been bothering you a lot lately," she says. "Maybe he's an ass because he likes you."

'He doesn't like her," Al says quickly. "Right?"

We look at him and I see that same look I saw in the Pit in his eyes. Is it hurt? Or it is jealously? If it's jealously, Peter's not the person he has to worry about. I have to force myself to look at someone else.

"I mean, it's possible," Will says. "Maybe he just doesn't know how to say anything. Could be the way that he was raised."

I hold out my hands and shake my head. "Please," I say. "Stop."

Chris grins. "What? You don't like the attention?"

"Not from him, I don't."

It's at this point when Tobias sets a tray down next to us and begins eating. I do a quick glance around the room. There are plenty of empty tables. I wonder if anyone else will question why he's sitting next to us instead of alone. But I have a feeling that it's because he wants to eavesdrop of our conversation. And I don't blame him. If I had walked by and heard what we were talking about, I would have wanted to sit down too.

"Four, you're a man," Chris says.

He raises an eyebrow at her. "Tread carefully," he says.

"I just mean that, you're a man," she says. She shakes her head. "Hang on, I'm getting there."

He takes a bite of bread, his eyes on Christina's face, waiting for her to continue. I turn to look at her; we're all looking at her now. Where exactly is she going with this.

"Tris is a pretty girl, wouldn't you say?" she asks.

He coughs. "I probably shouldn't' answer that question, as I am your instructor."

"Please just answer the question."

He sets the bread down and turns to look at me. I don't look at him and I feel my face start to redden, but I feel his eyes studying my face.

"She's kind of plain, but I guess sort of pretty in a way," he says, looking back at Christina. I feel my neck burning and even though I had told him to his face that I knew I wasn't pretty, hearing him saying it out loud was a little harsh. I feel a tension in my chest and I want nothing more to run, down into the cold basement. "Now what?"

"Well that's rude," she says. "But whatever. You say sort of pretty, maybe Peter thinks differently. So imagine that you're Peter, and if you think she's pretty, wouldn't you tell her? Because I think he's being a coward by not saying anything to her."

He narrows his eyes. "Saying anything about what?"

"We all have a theory that he has a thing for her," Will says.

"For the record, I don't," Al says quickly.

I swallow. "Also, I refuse that theory," I say. "Like I absolutely refuse it."

Christina narrows her eyes at me. "You don't get a say in this theory," she says. "Not when it's about you."

I groan and bury my head in my hands. "God I hate you."

"Well," Tobias says clearing his throat. "I am a man, as you so kindly pointed out, but I think that if a guy likes a girl, whether or not she thinks she's pretty, he should tell her how he feels. Even if he's afraid she doesn't feel the same way. Because in Dauntless it's about bravery. And if the guy can't say anything, then he doesn't deserve to be with her in the first place."

No one says anything. I keep my head in my hands because now my red cheeks are for a completely different reason. Plus it's to hide my smile. Because Tobias had just said was what he did. What we did. And I know that I shouldn't love the way it makes me feel, but I can't help it. Tobias makes me happy. But maybe that's not the most important thing here. Surviving is the most important thing. Because what good is having someone to be with if you can't even see him anymore?

"Wow," Christina says. "That's…that's a really good answer."

"Thanks," Tobias says. "Now, don't be late for training. We're shooting up on the roof right after lunch. You have twenty minutes."

I hear him get up and even then I don't lift my head until I know that he's out of the room and I look at them. "You guys shouldn't have asked him that," I say. "He's our instructor."

"He's also honest as hell," Christina says. She turns to the boys. "Well you heard that. Be honest. Tell the girl you like how you feel…you never know what it'll get you."

I can't help but smile. "I'm gonna go," I say.

"Where?" Al asks.

"Just for a walk, stretch out my legs," I say. "I'll meet you guys up on the roof."

I grab my tray and take it to the trash before leaving the cafeteria and taking the stairs two at a time to get to the roof. I open the door and I smile when I see Tobias standing there. He looks up at me, an annoyed look on his face.

"I hate your friends," he says.

I laugh. "Trust me, back in that lunch room you were not alone."

"So they also think that Peter likes you," he says. "Well, except for Al. But that's only because he likes you."

"Yeah and now he's going to try to make a move," I tell him. "All because of your…really great advice."

"Ah jeez," he says. "I was just really trying to make up for the fact that I called you plain. I didn't want to, because you are definitely not plain to me."

"About that," I say.

He narrows his eyes at me. "Why don't I like the sound of that?"

"Because it's kind of bad news."

He folds his arms across his chest. "What's wrong?"

I take a breath. "I think that we should maybe take a break."

"You're breaking up with me?"

"No!" I say quickly. "I just…Peter's already suspicious. How long is it going to take for someone else to realize how much I enjoy it when you smile at me."

"Oh I'm not smiling now," he says, his voice harsh.

"It's dangerous," I say.

"No it's not."

"You say that but it's not your spot that you're risking. I could be kicked out."

He lets out an angry breath and runs his fingers through his hair. "You're kidding right?"

I swallow because I can feel the sting behind my eyes. "Believe me, I don't want to do this."

"Then don't." His voice cracks on the last word.

I close my eyes and I am embarrassed when I feel a tear on my cheek. I reach up quickly to wipe it away and open my eyes to look at Tobias. I swallow. "How long until initiation is over?'

"A month."

"That's not too bad, right?'

"You're serious."

I chew on my lower lip. "I understand if you don't want to wait a month. If you want to, I don't know, find someone else to entertain you while I'm training."

He stares at me, shaking his head. "You think this is about me not having any entertainment for a month?" he scoffs. "God, Tris. Do you really not know how I feel about you?"

"I'm trying to make this easier for me."

"By making me out to be some sex crazed monster?"

"You're not a monster," I tell him. "I just…you're older than I am."

"Haven't we already talked about this?" he asks. "I am no more experienced than you are. I just want you, Tris."

I run my hand across my face and shake my head. "You…are far better than you should be."

He takes a step toward me and takes my hand. "If you want me to back off, I'll back off. But I will not let you cut me out of your life for the next month. We'll be safe and we'll be careful. I can't not talk to you like this for four weeks."

I look up at him. "You're really not going to let me go, are you?"

"Not a chance in hell," he says, with a slight grin.

I sigh and shake my head. "Okay. Fine."

"Does that mean I can kiss you?"

"Yeah, I guess so," I say with a smile.

He grins down at me and pulls me up against him, pressing a soft kiss to my lips.

"Don't you ever forget how important you are to me."

"I won't if you won't," I say.

'Deal."


End file.
